Taboo

A conversation with Evanescence this afternoon:

Evanescence:  What are you doing?

Ser3ndipity:  Eating lunch

Evanescence:  What are you having?

Ser3ndipity:  Tuna salad

Evanescence:  You are always eating tuna

Ser3ndipity:  It's a good source of protein

Evanescence:  You know, seamen is high in protein

I love Evanescence but she, like most women I've met; is a total contradiction.  At times we have the conversational etiquette of a male locker room, verbally jostling each other in the most outlandish ways and yet in the 'real world' we couldn't be any more different.  

You see in the past I've been presented with many an opportunity to infiltrate and gain insight into the female psyche, and I have to say... I'm almost always disappointed as a good 80% seem to fall into a category that I've come to call 'vanilla'. The women that give off the impression that they are sexually confident but when you dig a little deeper... not so much.  Let me try and give you some examples:

50 Shades of Grey

I'm pretty sure everyone and their dog by now has now heard of this trilogy, at one point you couldn't grab a coffee, jump a bus or even walk through an office (yes an office) without seeing someone engrossed in a dog eared copy. I can't lie, with all the hype I myself bought the set, but the fundamental difference between me and the liberated 20% versus the remaining 80%... We didn't have our minds blown.  I'll admit, despite a LOT of literary criticism, I think the book is somewhat well written.  The prose is reasonable and for the first ten or so chapters you really do feel like something exciting is going to happen, but then... Nothing.  There is absolutely nothing in this book that your average 18-21yr old freshman hasn't tried... Or at least that's what I thought until I realised the whirlwind of flushed faces this book caused.  It's like people didn't already know Cliterature existed.  We grew up in the times of Literotica people... where the hell have you been hiding?

Sex Toy City

So we have all seen sex and the city, we have equally all had a laugh at Samantha's 'back massager' antics, so the probability of most 20-30-somethings owning a few toys of their own is up there right?  Wrong!  A good 50% of the women I know (most of which I hasten to add you would assume are sexually liberated) don't own a sex toy, and at least 30% of the ones that do got it as a gift and refuse to use it.  How is this even possible?  

• We are generation X.  
• We are the children of the 90s.  
• We are the women amid the Ann Summers revolution, and the Euro Trash boom!.  
• We ARE generation seX! 

Yet, as a chick who has been tapped into this world since 18 (hosting Ann Summers parties practically paid my way through first year Uni), I can safely say that while we women will often openly talk about these programs and characters, there are only a few that truly appreciate the beauty in a battery assisted friend.

Porn

With the introduction of the internet, porn is now as easy to find as your local takeaway.  Whatever your pleasure, guaranteed there is a site to satisfy your every need.  Yet for some reason, the industry always has, and I'm sure always will, be male-centric.  I can safely say, women, never, ever, ever, talk about porn.

And that bloggers brings us round to the most mind boggling point of note, and the biggest sexual taboo to exist in the world of women today... 

Masturbation

Yep, I said it.  Masturbation.  The most basic, carnal instinct any person can have and yet... Not only is it a female taboo subject, but for those who do touch upon the subject (excuse the pun) from time to time... It still evokes a deep seeded feeling of guilt and shame.

• Women who are unhappy with their sex lives but can't/won't talk to their partners to tell them what they like because they have never worked it out for themselves.  
• Women who are upset and broken because they have found their partners masturbating and don't understand why 'they aren't enough'.  
• Women who are going insane with sexual frustration due to long term relationships and yet still, still refuse to quench their desire.

No bloggers, female masturbation is seriously controversial subject.  So much so that even though that even those who do embrace know it is not something to be talked about.  It is an unwritten rule.  I mean sure you can joke about it, but an actual conversation... oh hell no!

What complex and complicated sexual lives we lead.  So scared, so inhibited and so repressed that it leaves us... vanilla.  Don't get me wrong, I don't think that all women are like this, nor do I think you need to be swinging from the light fixture to be having a good time, but surely this cloak and dagger approach is nothing but a hindrance to sexual gratification.

Time to pop the bubble.  Viva La Sexual Revolution!

Post a comment or email your thoughts, subject matters, suggestions and over the next few days this little 21st century chick will attempt to dispel some of the myths.  And what better way to start the revolution than with this, the sexiest song ever written:

Paula Cole - Feelin' Love
Click for link