A few of you have emailed to ask what my take on long-distance relationships is, and while I've mentioned that I've had to embark upon the dynamic of this before, I guess I never went into detail.
When I was dating Clutz he went to Africa for four months and ultimately that time apart meant we went our separate ways after one crazy heated night the day he returned, but we were young and the distance we had endured didn't really cause the change. Equally Mr X went on two separate, lengthy, long-distance trips during the time we were together that saw me step back into that dynamic.
My thoughts on long-distance relationships is that that they are difficult to maintain and I think those that do surf the waves to success tend to have a great in-person relationship to build upon before distance is an issue, have open communication, a sense of adventure, and ultimately, an end goal. Something that will at some point see an end to the distance where a normal relationship can resume. Contravercial as it may seem, especially as a 21st century chick living in the age of technology... I don't think two people that start out as long-distance can really go the distance.
So... As I promised this week would be about sexual honesty, how does that fit in?
Sexting
Sending sexually explicit photographs or messages via mobile phone.
I love sexting someone I'm in a relationship with. I don't think it is something that is particularly healthy as a daily theme, but utilised in the right way it has the ability to juice things up. There's nothing more I like than knowing my man is in the middle of a stressful week at work and sending an unexpected treat. When long distance isn't a factor, this can be anything from a saucy pic or pair of panties in his suit jacket, right through to a 'at 7pm I will be at X bar drinking a French martini and wearing nothing but my coat, heels and lingerie... At 7:10 I'll have left, so work hard today ;)'
Long distance the thresholds change slightly, and a girl tends to have to be more aggressive in her approach, but the aim is always the same - unexpected timing in the hopes that your recipient is unable to leave his desk for the next 10 mins.
Phone Sex
A sexually explicit telephone conversation engaged in for sexual gratification.
This one is slightly harder to orchestrate due to time differences, and while I think for some phone sex is an elaborate process with dirty talk and story lines... For this little chick it is the virtual equivalent of 'I need you right here and right now against this wall'. I've never been a fan of dirty talk, I think it's like role play only forced and the amount of men that think calling a woman a degrading name as part of phone sex is a turn on is insane. Unless you have that kind of relationship in person where pet names and verbal humiliation is part of your 'thing', then why the hell are you bringing it up when the only method at your disposal is waxing lyrical?!
No, for me bloggers phone sex is about that final moment, where you have wound each other up so irrevocably when you can't be in the same place and so the next best thing is listening to, and vocalising your final moment while the person at the other end of the line does the same. Simple, yet effective.
Cyber Sex
Sexual arousal using computer technology, or by exchanging messages with another person via the internet.
Web-camming again, isn't really my bag. I think because it is the visual equivalent of elaborate dirty talk so if you're dating me and expect that we will be coming up with some lengthy ploy in which we are both meant to pretend we are in the same place... Think again. I do however think that this virtual gateway is a necessity for all things long-distance.
Conversation is key and as great as texting and phone conversations can be, the look on someones face when you tell them your latest news, flirt or that you miss them, can sometimes be all you need to feel reassured. Equally, if my man is at the other side of the world while you won't find this little chick up for an amateur type porn exchange, a saucy striptease to show your other half that you are missing them is almost compulsary. Get your sassy on, just don't get your bits out :p
Surprise & Delight
Finally the #1 thing to keep a long distance relationship working... Unpredictability.
Logging in, calling or texting the same stuff each day at the same time is only going to result in a very boring and grey relationship. Send things in post. Change the tactic. Mix it up. If he sends you some lingerie, you make sure that the next time you wear it, its for his pleasure next time you talk. If she sends you a kinky text at lunch... snap a pic and show her how turned on you are.
Long distance relationships have such a high failure rate so my advice if you are contemplating the possibility is to ask yourself one simple question 'Am I prepared to get a little adventurous, embrace my spontaneous side, and put in the work and are they willing to do the same'. If you can't answer both with a firm yes... Don't even try.
Goldfrapp - Ooh La La
No comments:
Post a Comment