I saw a picture of him today.
A few in fact. It was his daughters birthday and his mum had been snap happy. He looked... Different. So very different. He has put on
a little weight, has let his hair grow out, and has a beard!! I was a little shocked. The biggest difference however is how tired he seems. He looks like someone who needs a giant hug and a break in life.
I know given everything I should be flippant and not give a damn, but I don't work like that. No saw him in the photos and I just wanted to jump on a plane and go and make him smile. I can't do that though, of course I can't do that.
Why does life have to be so confusing. I spill my thoughts out on this page and realise to anyone else (you!) I probably seem completely unhinged, a total bunny boiler, and a manic depressive. Now I'm not going to say I'm the most together person in the world, but honestly bloggers; if you knew me in real life, you would struggle to put 2 and 2 together and attach me to these ramblings. In the real-world I seem quite sane.
I wish life had played differently and I had plans to bring in 2016 on the rainbow bench beach running hand and hand with him into the icy water at the stroke of midnight; washing all of this years pains and sorrows away. Work, money, lost love, medical dramas and hot fat tears met with the sound of the ocean and the promise of something new.
2016 needs to be something different. It needs to be Ser3ndipity reinvented.
Someone who reads you to sleep isn't someone who doesn't love you.
ReplyDeleteSomeone with anxiety who asks you to fly across the ocean to see them isn't someone who doesn't love you.
Someone who suffers with depression and yet invites you to their home for a holiday when he has never met you isn't someone who doesn't love you.
Isn't there something you can do to have you both see it?
Here here well said. He seems like a guy with a lot going on but if you've told us the whole story it seems like deep down he loves you too
ReplyDelete