Life, Love and Change... Three things that can spin your world upside down; none of which can be controlled, distorted - sometimes, influenced - maybe, but controlled, never.
I can't wait for the snow to fall. It covers even the deepest darkest corners covering everything with a sense of something new. A fresh start. A clean slate. I need that.
Flakes of hope and possibilities disguising the deep, dark, red, black and sadness filled voids. Something magical, a landscape of endless possibility and a sense of something else. Something else out there, someone else out there. Anything to pull me from where I am. I've never felt so alone. Ridiculous misunderstandings and hormones and uncertainty spiraling out of control taking the place of outstretched hands and soothing voices.
I feel like I've lost my voice. I can't seem to find it. The words came to slowly, the uncertainty was too long, and the knowing too short. It's as if everything I ever wanted was right there; so close, and yet it didn't matter how much it might have been perfect, how much it might have been all I ever wanted; it was never going to be mine. He was never going to be mine. Our... was never going to be ours.
How much I would give to have him wrap me in his arms and say it is all going to be okay; that life is sometimes unbelievably hard but somehow in the end, it will be all okay. It will be okay because this time, this time, even though it isn't the fairy tale ending... There's someone there, pulling me silently in to his chest, letting the hot fat tears flow down my face until the hurt is gone and there's nothing left to feel or say. Silently covering me with love and kindness, painting my landscape blank. Covering my heart and my soul with magic. With snow.
I'll try to keep walking, with my old friend music pulling me along to its beat; lyrics soothing me through. One step in front of the other.
One day at a time
One hour at a time
One minute
One second
One breath.
Allman Brown & Liz Lawrence - Sons and Daughters
Your music is always so perfect. I always click play before I read your posts. I hope 2016 brings you love and happiness, you seem like a genuine and loving person ser3ndipity and regardless of your dark patches I sense in you someone that will always get back up. I can't wait to hear about that girl again. Lots of Love x
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