13

1.  I'm still in love with him

2.  My body is starting to break again

3.  Something has to give at work. I spent today weighing up the options and found my body beginning to shake with nerves.  One less blink and I wouldn't have been able to hold back the tears

4.  I bought tickets to a gig.  Crazily expensive tickets

5.  Tomorrow is a friends wedding reception following his wedding in Vegas and already people are lining up 'single options'.  I couldn't be less interested if I tried

6.  Since I stepped off the plane and back into a world without the fairytale I've been asked for drinks five times.  Not once have I even had to stop for breath before smiling and declining

7.  Getting up and facing the world is not coming easy at the moment but I've not missed a day yet

8.  I forgot how fab I am at faking it

9.  I almost reached out today... I did reach out, but I was still at work.  At that time,  at my weakest point,  he was the only person I wanted to text.  His reply was fast.  I've being weird and fake joking and fake smile texting this eve.  He didn't call so I was right to hold it all back.

10.  I would have called

11.  I miss my dad.  Does that ever fade?  I'm envious of people with that quiet but open bond of support

12.  It's not that I want to be single, it's just that I know magic doesn't happen over and over.  I wouldn't want less than magical

13.  No one ever thinks they are a bad judge of character... I wonder if I am.  I think I might have been fooling myself all along