Holding On & Letting Go

I've been pretty sick for this last little while which is why I haven't been blogging.  I'm not completely back on form yet and am sleeping most the day but thought I should check in.

I'm never sure if time in your own company is a good or bad thing.  I tend to get really frustrated when I can't get a minute to myself, but this last week or so I feel like all I have done is think, either while I'm sat up or when I'm sleeping.  I've had the same types of dreams over and over and over again.  I think all this rain check has done is allowed me to see that if I'm not careful my life is going to spiral out of control.

I want so badly to just let go to everything and blow wherever the wind takes me.  I feel like that's what I need.  A completely new start.  A new place.  New faces.  New feelings.  New experiences.  Air.  

Right now it's like I can't breathe.

So here's what I never told you about in my blog before... I'm someone with well... I have to fight with my own body a lot of the time and right now I think it might be winning.  

Sometimes I think if I just left it all behind... everything I know and everyone I love, I might just find the strength inside that I need to become who I am supposed to be.  The question is, is it important to have the right job, the right salary and be in the place people expect you to be at 30, or is it ok to throw it all away - run away from responsibility and embrace life like I'm starting my 20s all over again?  

I just need to take a deep breath of air.  Fresh, cold and icy on my lungs.

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Ross Copperman - Holding On & Letting Go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awr_jzijeIU&list=HL1351366685&feature=mh_lolz