Resolution Time

So it's that time of year again where we all make 101 promises we don't keep, people go on cabbage soup diets, everyone hits the gym and at least 3 of your friends have declared a 'detox' all to fall apart and usually before February 1st.

I'm not big on resolutions to be honest as I think big changes in anyone's life tend to happen more organically, but as this year I shall be turning 30 as well I  decided to have a long hard think about something that I could do, that I would be able to keep momentum in, and that would benefit me in the long run... To help people less.

Yes bloggers, you read right.  My resolution for 2012 is to 'help people less'.  It may sound completely selfish but trust me when I say I think it is a long time coming.  You see, for those of you who have been reading my blog a while you will have seen that I somehow always end up with a 'pet project', someone whose life is more screwed up than mine, is on the brink of depression, and somehow I always end up being the therapist.  Well no more.

I'm not going to lie, this is a circle I have been down several times, to the point that more than one person has pointed out I am the character in the film Sweet November, and I have likened myself to Iris in The Holiday, but the events of 2011 have definitely been enough to make me realise that the time and energy I put into these people is not only wasted, but could be better spent elsewhere... improving myself.

On the run up to Christmas one of my cats was really unwell, I had to take him to the vet and as a result (long story short) he needed to go back to the vet for a follow up on Christmas Eve, the day after I was meant to head to my mum/brother's for the holidays.  Anyway the G-Star was due to stay at my house during this time but had to work at the time of the appointment and so I had to ask Wonka if she could take the cat to the vet for me (would have taken 30mins tops out of her day).  Wonka was the perfect choice, she had finished work the week before, had already finished her Christmas shopping and as she still lives at home with her folks, had absolutely nothing to organise.  Yet, and yes you have guessed it... She refused to help.  I left her a voicemail and text in the morning (4days before Xmas eve) and despite knowing she has her phone  permanently glued to her hand, she didn't contact me until late that evening when I received a text saying she said she was 'too busy'.  

To put the whole thing into perspective...  I completely understand that Christmas Eve is the worst time to ask for someone to help, and had Wonka called me back and said 'hey I'm sorry but I have X, Y, Z to do' I would have said 'hey thanks for getting back to me, no problem' but there are several facts that made the whole thing hard to swallow:

• In the last 6months I have been an emotional crutch to Wonka.  We are talking phone calls with tears and worries first thing in the morning, last thing at night and sometimes in the middle of the night.  I have helped her gain confidence, widen her social circle, have helped her with work worries, boyfriend issues, dating, the list is endless.
• Wonka has invited herself to my house on several occasions to 'get away from it', and each time I have shifted plans to help support her as much as possible.  A whole weekend of a depressed and needy person isn't exactly my idea of fun either.
• Not once have I asked Wonka to do me a favour.
• I let Wonka know that she was my last resort and unless she would be able to take less than an hour out to help me out (she has a car), I was going to have to miss Christmas with my family (I hadn't seen them for over 7mths).
• The day Wonka was 'too busy' to help she posted and checked-in on Facebook several times at coffee shops, parks, etc with a friend she sees 3/4 times a week.  Once even to say she had been on a relaxed day of fun.

As you can tell... Straw and camel.  Needless to say I deleted Wonka from Facebook, blocked her from whattsapp, and haven't replied to a text or email since (she has sent several).  Fuck it!  If the one and only time I have asked her for help she can't be assed when she has the time and means to do so... well then, I need her friendship like a hole in the head.

Anyway what it all boils down to is a wake up call.  I mean, Wonka is only one example and I could think of a heap, Mr X, and Six just to name a couple and now it's time for a change.

Oh and another thing...  If my life isn't looking more lined up by 2013... I'm going to actively start putting things into place to become a solo parent.   Think >>>

------------------------------------
This Ain't A Love Song - Scouting For Girls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=886AQqcM8Tk