I spoke briefly to Mr X online yesterday, he has started dating someone again which he seems to be as excited about as a person licking stamps. It made me take a long hard look at myself as he seems to be doing the same as I was with OOJ to a certain extent.
I mean we both have differing reasons for it being a bad/difficult decision but I definitely saw familiarity in the situation: I find it hard to trust guys after all the crap that came to light when we split up and won't settle for anything less than what I can only think to call 'movie love' to boot. He is in a whilrpool of numbness and has some serious issues which prevent him from really connecting and has established a habit of lying on a daily basis (small white lies the majority of the time), and no, before you wonder, I'm not talking about to me, as I'm in touch with his sister I know he lies to her quite a lot (he is living with her atm) as he tells me what he is actually doing and tells her he is working.
Its a weird one. I mean I don't hurt any more when I hear he is dating someone but it does makes me look at my own life and the fact I don't seem to be moving on. I mean, how much longer am I going to let what happened between us prevent me from going forward?
So what are the facts?
- I know I don't want to speed date.
- I am dubious online dating as there seems to be a lack of hot men and there is something in the back of my mind that makes me think someone who dates online may keep their online options open when with you (cynical I know).
- I would be up for blind dating through friends but unfortunately I don't really have any friends with attractive and eligible single mates.
- I hate the whole 'out on the pull' to bars/clubs thing. I mean I don't really like clubbing and going out on the prowl isn't really my thing.
- I'm not looking for someone who wants to jump straight into a relationship but I don't want to meet anyone who is only looking for a one night stand.
- I wouldn't rule out going down the 'friends with benefits' route again as I am seriously missing sex but I don't want that to add to the list of things stopping me from moving on.
WOW, now that is some list!! The question is, where do I go from here? On one hand I think going on a few dates, taking baby steps and opening myself up to meeting someone new would be a really nice thing, but on the other, I have a huuuuuuge list of things I can't/won't do. Hmmmm.
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Spin Doctors - Two Princes
Your dating related blogs are always interesting from a mans perspective. Hurry up and start dating again!
ReplyDeleteI think you should hang around classy coffee shops readying novels until some cute guy comes over and says hi. :)
ReplyDeleteI think thats very you.
and me if I was a woman.... which Im not....no sir
Haha thanks for this Oli, I may do that, cut does it mean I have to pretend to read books I barely understand by Dostoyevsky?
ReplyDeleteHmmm maybe I will give it a shout and let you know how I get on :) x