Shudder!
I had to face a phobia yesterday, my biggest by far... a spider.
For years I've been petrified of them, I can't go anywhere near them. I can't catch one, I can't kill one and if someone else is around they have to show me it before they put it out the window so I'm certain it's gone.
When I was with my first long-term boyfriend Clutz I found a spider the size and height of a tennis ball (I know this as it was standing next to one looking at me) in my bedroom. I called Clutz unable to move and in hysterics, he had to pay a £20 taxi to get to my flat from the other side of town, break down my front door (as I knew if I moved the spider would flee and I'd never be able to set foot in the flat again) and then come and catch it. To this day it is still the biggest house-type spider I have ever seen in my life.
I tried to combat my fear years later by holding a tarantula. Did it work? No it sodding didn't! The only purpose it served was to widen my fear of spiders as until that point I was less scared of the huge fuzzy types as I figured you would always know where they were - WRONG! You could have 8/9 of those bad boys on your back and they are so sodding light you would never know!!
Anyway yesterday I walked into my bathroom and there it was, an eight legged, ugly, creepy, crawly, 'I can run in any direction at the drop of a hat' spider, on the wall beside my shower.
Not having anyone else to call on I was super brave and despite never wanting to kill them and not letting anyone else kill them I decided the only thing I could possibly do was to turn on the shower and wash it down the plug hole. I turned on the shower, held it from a distance and sprayed it... I have never seen a spider run so fast in my life! The damn thing ran on top of the water, all over the bathroom wall amid my shrieks and landed on all eight feet halfway under the skirting board panel at the back of the toilet (my floors are uneven).
I decided after staring (at a safe distance) for about 20mins that the spider was dead and arranged for a friend to come to the flat later in the week to remove it as there is no way dead or alive that I can get within 2m of a spider.
When I got home last night, the spider was gone.
Now I know I have a pissed off spider somewhere in my house waiting to get me. Nightmare!.
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Tomoyasu Hotei - Battle with Honour or Humanity
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