Today I will be donning my cape of ears and helping out a friend who has been dumped by her bf of 4 years 9 days before the biggest exam of her life.
Now why I ask you if he cared for her at all could he not wait until the exam was over? They didn't have a fight where things got out of control, he told her in a cool calm manner when he dropped her off at home after a day out? I don't think I will ever get men.
How to make a man:
- Mix 2 cups of testosterone with one spoon of anti-commitment
- Stir in several spoons of emotional cold spots
- Add 300mls of emotional self preservation
- Sieve to remove multitasking
- Bake for about 18 years... take out realise its still premature and bake for a further 10.
- Sprinkle lightly with 'my mum is the best'
- Add a twist of selfishness and finally decorate with blinkers.
How to make a woman:
- Mix 8 cups of oestrogen with one cup of manipulation
- Stir in several drops of self doubt and a pinch of flirtation
- Bake every month for 4-7days and monitor decreased levels of rationale
- Add 300mls of compassion
- When aging add several spoons of broody
- Dust with an unnatural liking for all things cute and fluffy and decorate with hair extensions, eyeliner and nail polish
- Add one man and one woman
- Bake for anything from 10seconds to 4hours
- Sit back and relax/panic/cry
Beverly Knight - Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlrrJovnqOA
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