Party Lifestyle

I headed to pub quiz on Wednesday and ended up not making it to bed until 4am, then yesterday it was 'fancy dress' day at work so I fired on some facepaint and headed in as a zombie roller derby girl and went for dinner with Six after my 9hr shift.  Today... I'm feeling it!  (just found out that Walliams managed to cram an entire bottle of vodka into the 3 drinks we had on Wed night... that probably accounts for a lot!).

It's the last day of calm before the storm and there's heaps to do.  Having people round for drinks or dinner is one thing, getting people over to your house at the weekend another, but hosting a halloween party where you ask people to come dressed up... the effort required to turn that into a sucess and not just a regular house party - huge!

De Longue told me I looked cute yesterday, he is soooooo yummy!  Shame he is now dating his friend.  Mr X has been in touch a lot to chat, see if I want a lift home from work when it is throwing down, he even text to see if I was going to pub quiz and if he could come yesterday - oh and no, I didn't take any of the lifts. 

I need caffine, a week of sleep in a day, an increased bank balance and hmmm a knock me off my feet, butterflies in my tummy kiss.  Yep, think its time to get back on the dating wagon, and as the party on Sat will hold host to a load of guys i've never met and speed dating is just around the corner... The timing couldn't be better.

I miss roller derby!

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Teenage Bottlerocket - Skate or Die
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-03q9VE0sOk

Come Dine with Me

I headed to the Come Dine with Me dinner event last night with Red, Walliams and his friend who I'm going to call Duplo as I saw a few things in him that remind me somewhat of me, and also because right now I can't think of anything better.

The event was held at a newly reopened bar/restaraunt quite close to where I stay.  The come dine with me theme was loose and involved a table of 4 people voting on their most favourite dishes after each course, once done the two most popular would be the only ones you paid for.  For a 2 course meal (we were too stuffed to eat any more), for 4 people, with 2 drinks each we paid £41 which was great as the food was fantastic and I will definately go back.

Duplo was a pretty nice guy and at first sight I thought he might be Red's cup of tea.  Red didn't seem that interested, however she heard from Billy that day (almost two weeks after they were meant to meet up), and wasn't on great form to be honest.  I made several attempts to revolve the conversation around things of interest to Red so she could take centre stage but she seemed a little out of sorts.  I think her ego has taken a bit of a bruising.  Walliams did the same for Duplo and the conversation flowed, the more I realised that Duplo was actually pretty hot, works out, nice physiqe and pretty charismatic. 

After we all met, Walliams had started talking about our Halloween party, Duplo had said he was uncertain if he would come as he had recently been made redundant and wasn't too into the whole dressing up thing.  By the end of the night he grabbed my arm as we were leaving to tell me he was definately going to work out a costume and come along on Saturday.  The evening ended with a few goodbyes and a rather embarassed Duplo I went for a goodbye frienly hug at the same time he went for the french double kiss approach - oh dear!

I'm not going to say watch this space as that would be overly premature, however I will say that I am somewhat looking forward to seeing if Duplo turns up and if so talking a little more.

Other than that, Walliams have our first of two mannequins for the party secured.  We picked it up last night and too her 'Carrie' to the bar for a beer and a few comedy photo's before heading back to the flat and picking up our stepladders from Mr X's flat as he had borrowed them earlier in the week.  Mr X answered the door in nothing but a towel and so brought the ladders over a few mins later and stayed for a beer.

Yep, it was a pretty great school night evening.

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George Harrison - Got my mind set on You

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GdeU0ww4zY

Music saves the day again...

Hectic weekends involving too much alcohol, live music, no sleep and no time to yourself, surely these are the weekends that are meant to wipe you out?  The last four days for me on the other hand have only help to give me a kick start again.  I've took one huge deep breath in, painted a fake smile on my face and somehow, now, when i'm breating out, some of the facade has remained - thank goodness!

I headed to a couple of gigs with Herb while she was here, one which was planned although I had to haggle with a tout outside to get my ticket (saved £50 from the price they were selling online); the second was the next day and as we were already on the 'haggle wagon' we managed to get two free tickets :)   On her last night here we headed through to the adjoining city and met up with a few people including a girl Herb knew from her time living in the states who was on tour with the USA kung-fu and kickboxing team, a few of which also tagged along.  It was a fully packed, no time for breathing space weekend and was just what I needed. 

The halloween party is this weekend and things will be busy between now and then so lots to do and keep me occupied.  I'm meeting Red on Tuesday night as she, Walliams and one of his friends are heading to a resteraunt in my living room night esq. night in a newly opened bar/cafe and I'm catching up with Six on Wednesday as she dropped the shocker yesterday at work that she decided over the weekend to move back to Santa Cruz and had handed in her notice.  I need to try and meet Avril at some point before the weekend also as its been ages since we took the time to catch up.

So as you can see, i'm trying to tackle things head on again.  What I would really like though is to be wrapped up in the arms of a cute, super tall, dark haired hot guy.  Maybe if i'm very good santa will bring me an early christmas present.

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I love this song right now.  I'm also thinking the cross tattoo the girl has on her wrist is extremely pretty.   Anyone who has a link to something similar please post it.... You can see where this is going.

Train - When I look to the Sky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lopmLN3e9kM&ob=av2e

Big Zed's

The last few says have been crazy and juat what I needed... update tomorrow.
For now I've just got in from the cinema and am shattered so am going to get some big Zzzz's

If you haven't already been to see the Facebook movie social network, get to it. it's awesome! Also the guy who plays Michael Zuckerman in it... weirdly geek chic hot!

night bloggers x

Blue Ribbon

Tonight I went to a gig with herb. We had a great time as usual, but also as usual as the drink hits the pit of her belly Herb gets slightly big headed and somewhat competitive. Don't get me wrong she has a lot to be boastful of, she us an accomplished and attractive girl and has done well to get where she is; but tonight, somehow, I ended up being labelled in some respect as competition or rather a marker for her success and it was all a bit surreal. I mean... Have I or would I ever do that if things were flipped? I'm not too sure I would have.

Hmmm

Plan, Plan and Plan again

Right so a few things have happened since I last blogged so lets see if I can get you up to date.

Red came over on Saturday, we caught up - she has been on a couple of dates with Billy but it seems she initiates and he gets back to her on the day to let her know if he is going to show up so not an ideal situation.  She also gave him several books as he is studying English Lit as part of his course, he didn't say thanks but took them all the same.  Yes bloggers, Billy is not a good egg.  Anyway she blew him off to meet with me on Saturday night so I think its game over. 

We ordered chinese, put the world to rights and as the other one didn't work out, re-booked speed dating for the 10th November.  Six has booked on the same event too, so it will be an interesting event as Six and Red are like chalk and cheese.

I hung out with Mr X for an hour or so last night, we caught up and chatted and it was nice.  I do miss that we aren't as close these days but we really have both changed so much and its probably less destructive to be at arms distance from each other too. 

Herb, my best friend since high school is flying over tonight, we were meant to go and see a gig tomorrow night for a band we both love (but I forgot to buy my ticket and now can't get one for under £110 which is insane as they were only £14 to start with).  I need an action plan.  Anyway she is here until Sunday and as I haven't seen her since August, we have a lot of catching up to do which will be great.

I also spoke with Walliams last week to see if he fancied hosting a Halloween party at our flat and he is up for it... in fact, we have taken the concept to extremes the last couple of days and it is going to be epic!

ENTRANCE

• Signs all the way up the stairwell directing to the mortuary with helium balloons attached to the stairs.
• A pumpkin outside the front door.
• Dark Purple and Green lighting in the hallway with home made gravestones down each wall and spiders hanging on invisible wire above.

KITCHEN

• Fitted out like an operating theatre, the room lit up with fairy lights above the upper cabinets which will have coloured jars filled with weird bits and pieces from the butchers.
• A diagram of the 'human centipede' on the wall (if you don't know what i'm talking about youtube it), below which a table with drinks and gory delights such as: cat litter cake, pumpkin cider and shots of bloody mary served in surgical syringes.
• A cover on the fridge which makes it look like a gruesome tale (not home made), pictures of old fashioned pill bottles and jars at the back of the work surfaces and a pan on the cooker filled with fake bones and smoking with dry ice.

BATHROOM

• A chalk outline on the floor where Walliams has lied down and I have drawn round him
• A wolf hand coming out of the back of the toilet
• A bath filled with water dyed a deep red and made slightly goopy with vegetarian gelatine, in which will be a full size female mannequin with a (cardboard, home made) razorblade in her hands.  The tiles round the bath will have bloody hand prints.  The bath will have bright green apples in it also for dunking games later.
• The whole room will be lit by deep red candles (think Jane Eyre).
• Caution tape round the room.

LIVING ROOM

• Lit solely by a 5ft UV blacklight hanging on the far wall, below which a graveyard scene setter (bought) will hang.
• Bats and ghosts made from cardboard, bin bags and paper hanging from the roof with fishing wire with glowing eyes.
• A wall full of eyes lit up by the UV light.
• Blood stained sheets on the sofa's and book shelf to protect and glow.
• UV helium balloons glowing around the ceiling.
• We have also started making tonic water ice cubes in the freezer so any drinks taken into the living room will glow blue.

ENTERTAINMENT

• We've created a set of 8 challenges and will split the party into 2 groups, one for me and one for Walliams once everyone has arrived and will take an hour out of the flat and in the surrounding area to complete them and take photographs along the way.

Yep, I think it will be pretty great.  And hopefully it will go towards improving my mood dragging me out this sticky rut too.

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Feeder - Just the way I'm Feeling
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtuctFPHbhQ

Ready, Steady, Go

Today has been one of those super productive days that somehow make everything start to gel together again.  I've also realised that when things get really hard and i'm trying to pull my shit together I somehow end up throwing a crap load of things out and rearranging my bedroom (the only room in the flat that is mine alone).

Anyway I went over paperwork and ruthlessly threw out a heap of stuff (again - 2 bin bags full) and then rearranged my bedroom this morning/afternoon moving my desk/study area into the hallway recess upstairs outside my room and the chaise lounge that was out there into my bedroom.  I wasn't sure I would like it but it is great and has created the right amount of space for yesterdays somewhat spur of the moment purchase. 

I weighed up the possibility of heading to the gym to start my membership up again yesterday and when I looked at it... I have no time that isn't already allocated for that I have to go to the gym unless I could find one open late.  Now I live in a big city so you would think that finding a gym open until like 11 - 11:30pm wouldn't be too hard but as it turns out its impossible.  Hence my purchase, a brand new, shiny, treadmill.  I didn't get a second hand one or a crappy one as I figure if it isn't a good one for the job I'll just get annoyed with it and it will never get any use sooooooooo yes £450 on ^^^^^^^ that.

Red came over early evening and we had a chat.  She text Billy after the outing and they met for a few dates, but it appears she is doing all the initiation and he isn't really texting back :s    We did however book (yes book) speed dating, 10th November in a bar (either close or miles away from you), Red, Six and I will be drinking cocktails and making ourselves available for 15 3min dates.  That also, if you are wondering counts as one of my 'new' things for the month. 

So thats exercise - check 1, Exercise - check 1.  Off to a good start I think.

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Spencer Davis Group - Keep on Running
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAdottB7UU8

Game On!

Two posts in one day...

I'm thinking a list of changes is on the cards, its been a while since I set myself a challenge and its about time I got a little pro-active with my life again so lets see.

New Job

My current job is driving me insance.  Ok sure, the hours are workable, the pay is great for part-time, I can walk between my flat, Uni and the Office easily, the company I work for also looks good on my CV, however.  My immediate boss is a plonker and the other superiors aren't much better.  I'm micro managed on one hand and yet am not supported in the slightest with the other.  Yes.  A new job.

Endorphin Increase

I've never been one of those people who enjoys working out or going to the gym.  A couple of years ago I used to go 3/4 times a week after work with a girl I used to live with but I never enjoyed going and up until recently due to medication I'd been pretty constricted with my options.  Roller Derby screwed my back and although I'm in for the next intake that isn't for months and I'd quite like to shed a few pounds and get into shape before then so next time it doesn't hit me so hard.  The main reason for this however is the hopes that getting the blood pumpin and those happy little endorphins start working their magic.  A rock solid ass wouldn't go a miss either.

Social Butterfly

Roller Derby was a plan to widen my social circle as well as decreasing my clothing side and as that is currently on hold I need another plan to start meeting new people.  I think for this I need to make sure I either attend one event or head out to one new place each month, either of which needing to be out of my comfort zone.

Game on!

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Linkin Park - What I've Done
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMePM9Q-bYk&ob=av2n

Climbing

I've taken a couple of days off work to sort my head out.  Luckily stomach flu is going about at the moment and as I haven't been off sick for over 18mths no-one questioned anything.

I've submerged myself in some serious R&R time, I've looked at old photos from years gone, I've made myself cosy on the couch with big mugs of tea/coffee. I've had snacks and last night even had nacho's for my dinner - yep, serious me time!  I debated chowing down on happy pills again, but decided I would only get annoyed at myself for it in the long run, I mean, I get why tablets like that are there, and yeah they can really help some people, but at the end of the day... only you can sort yourself out and pull your head straight and i'm not sure a chemical aid helps to work out why you are in a sticky rut in the first place.

I've decided to look for a new job, something more challenging where i'm not going to be micro managed by people who couldn't organise their way out of a paper bag.  Yep time for a change somewhat bigger than my hairstyle.

The Rest

I kinda skimmed over the events of the weekend but paintball with my nephews was great fun.  We managed to convince my mum (a pensioner) to come in and have a game with us and she enjoyed it so much she played 6 of the 8hr day which was great.  It was good to get away.

I've a friend from years ago who I bumped into when I headed back home in August for the school meet-up thing who has since then been in touch quite a lot.  He was married when I met him and since then it seems he and his wife have decided to divorce and they are both going to start a fresh at different sides of the country.  I mention this because I have somehow become his number one person to text.  Don't get me wrong he is a nice guy, we had fun when we met up and i'd deffo be up for grabbing a beer a little more often with him, but the plan had been for that to be me, him and his wife and I somehow get the impression that he is hoping for something more.  Its obviously a confusing time for him at the moment and I don't want to be caught in the middle of anything - especially what appears to be an amicable divorce of two people who got married too young and have grown apart.  Do I attract them, or do I attract them?

Mr X has been away with work this past week and has text every day to say hi or to check in which I have found quite unusual.  He got back into town last night and let me know what time etc.  I have a funny feeling things between him and I are about to take another turn although I'm not quite sure how as I am pretty much keeping myself to myself as far as he is concerned these days.

Red and I are meeting tomorrow night and I'm catching up with Avril on Sunday so I'm sure the next few blogs will be back on track with drama and drunken outings.

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Sister Hazel - Your Winter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmSKcoBjPXc

STOP

I had a great weekend visiting family for my oldest nephews 16th birthday, we went paintballing for the day and there are loads of things I could tell you (and will later) but for now, this blog, today... I've hit hell again!

For no particular reason other than everything taking its toll on me I've hit a wall. An invisible all consuming wall that has made me not want to leave the house, has left me confined in my own head screaming to get out and somehow trapped in my own skin.  I'm screaming on the inside again! 

What the hell is this, this isn't me, i'm not it and I bloody well refuse to let this mental state keep taking hold of me.  I have that cheesy clip from some crappy movie/tv show springing to mind 'I am a strong, confident woman' - yes, yes I am but why then do I feel so debilitated? and by what?  My self, me, I am squashing myself.

Arrrrghhhhhhhh I wanna break free from this!

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Radiohead - Creep

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVyw3Uu5MoQ

School Playground

When I got to work last night it became apparent that pretty much every female was either going to go for the Brittney Spears 'hit me baby one more time' look at the school disco or the classic white shirt, black skirt combo (with the exception of one of the bosses who went all out as a saucy matron and stole the show) so I decided to have a rethink.

I ended up going in a purple/blue/pink mini kilt, a blue jumper, a pink tie, some glasses frames with plasters holding the side together and two incredibly squint bunches - thats right... I was a school geek.  I think it worked pretty well and the bonus was that I could be easily spotted in the crowd. 

As you would expect in the playground - there were cliques. Many of the managers were sat together and were pretty much bitching and giggling amid trying to prove who was hotter in their identical costumes.  The guys from the downstairs department and the guys from the upstairs department didn't mix and my geek crew... well we tanked the bar and worked the room.  My boss was there among the first group, she didn't seem overly pleased to see me - I think I have made a bit of a name for myself as an awkward character and so no-one really knows what to do with me.  (Awkward being that if I am forced to work under an idiot, I will push back when things are in total chaos when others just opt for the 'yes sir, yes ma'am approach).

Santa Cruz ended up coming to the event with me as Six was running late from an appointment in another city... I ended up leaving as soon as she said she was on her way as Santa Cruz had well and truly taken the soul out of the party for me.  She took drinks from numerous people including myself and didn't once offer to buy anything back.  She used my bag as a hold all for her camera (which in itself is ok), however when people wanted a photo taking she let any Tom, Dick or Harry go in to get it out when I wasn't watching.  But the icing on the cake was spilling 1/3 of a full pint down my top, not apologising and then rather than getting me a napkin... spraying what can only be described as 'granny perfume' on top of it despite my protests.  I stank, my perfume, beer and granny perfume = horrible.  I went home before anyone thought I was a drunken B.O brewery girl in my spare time.  I spoke with Six on the phone as I was leaving to make sure she was on her way and made it exceptionally clear that asking me to look after her friend and then not turning up for 4hrs was nothing short of taking the piss.

There were no hot guys to report of i'm afraid, however I did get asked out to a date by two guys out of the blue via text last night - and I know what you are thinking but no, I didn't drunken text them 1st, they both independantly, for some reason, decided to text me on a Wednesday night to ask me... Needless to say if you have to ask via text... the answer is pretty obvious... NEXT!

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They didn't play this song at school disco... but they should have!

Hanson - MMmmbop

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHozn0YXAeE&ob=av2e

Tea

Tea... the cure to all ailments.  Where I grew up it didn't matter what had happened, a cup of tea was the remedy.  The worse the scenario, the more sugar in the tea. 

• Lost your job? - Tea with 1 sugar
• Lost your job because your boss walked in on you sleeping with his wife - Tea with 2 sugars
• Lost your job because your boss walked in on you sleeping with his wife who is now pregnant - Tea with 3 sugars... and so on

I have been drinking a lot of tea lately!  Sugar free though - I like to keep my calories for more important things... like a cheeky chocolate hobnob with the tea.

There are some really bizzare truths (if that is what you can call them) out there:

• Tea with sugar is the enforced drink of choice when someone has had a shock or a scare. 
• The cool kids always sit at the back of the school bus, the coolest of them in the middle seat looking down the aisle.
• If someone asks you the time one or both of you will always look at your wrist.
• When playing a racing game a high percentage of people will lean the way they want the car to turn.
• If faced with the tape from the film the ring - I reccon most people would watch it, despite knowing in a few days/hours they will be killed by scary hair over her face lady.  At least, I know I would.

I guess that is why you guys tune in and read this... Its like opening the page to someones diary, you get an insight into the cogs and wheels that make them tick.

I have a work function tonight, something I usually avoid, however this one is for charity and I have been coersed into attending so I need to dig out a costume.  The theme is 'school disco' so I need to get creative.  I have to find something that is fast to change into, is sexy but not slutty (as both my superiors and inferiors will be present) and is effort enough that I don't look like a spoil sport.  I'm thinking maybe a st trinian...?

As for hot guys and potential dates at the event... I'll let you know.

Oh and before I forget <<<<<<<<<<< over that side of the blog there is a wee voting thing as i'm just a lil bit curious who is reading, especially as i've had over 600 hits this week.

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Alanis Morissette - You Learn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GP_yr-UA7E&feature=channel

Booty Call & Better Days

My flat buzzer went at 5am Sunday morning over and over again until Walliams went to answer it... 'Hi is Mr X there', 'No you have the wrong flat, he doesn't live here anymore' and on and on and on in the same circle for around 40mins when the total fanny buzzing my flat was told to fuck off by Walliams, just as I come downstairs to put it on silent.

So I ask you... I miss you?  What in between the 5am booty calls from drunken spakkers?... I thought so!  Me 1 - 0 Mr X.  I Win.

Other than that bloggeroonies, today has draning.  Uni was long and drawn out (first couple of weeks always kill me until I get into a routine), Work was the regular shade of crap upon crap annnndddd I have a heap of housework to do before I head down South for my eldest nephews 16th birthday - wow that makes me feel older than I am!

This lil clip while browsing the internet today however did cheer me up so lets hope it does the same for you over morning coffee: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rb8aOzy9t4

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Goo Goo Dolls - Better Days

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-kHleNYIDc&ob=av2e

I Miss You

Chatting to Mr S via text a few days ago in the middle of a joke he drops in 'I miss you'  I hadn't mentioned it until now because I ddn't really know what to do with it.

I didn't ask him what he meant or in what context as well... The things that have happened between us this past nine months has already left me confused and I don't think I want to give my head or my heart anything else to process.  The one thing I know for certain however, is that the next person I let in and open up will be someone I am certain I can trust, not someone who will lie to me or withold the truth as hard as they think that may be for me to deal with. 

I don't want protecting from the troubles of life, to be hidden from the things that will try me; wrapped up and somehow trapped in a kind of emotional bubble. I just want someone to hold my hand when things get scary, to hide under the duvet with me when I don't think I am ready to face the world; someone to wipe away my tears when I cry and to pick me back up when I fall. 

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I love this song, so beautiful.

Sara Bareilles - Breathe Again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOwvpRZKR4I

Baking & Bisexuals

Six popped over with her friend from the states last night, I'd just made a lasagne when she rang me to see if I wanted to go out (one of my less fancy but highly tasty dishes, even if I do say so myself), so I invited them both over.

Six as you know had surgery on her stomach and her friend (lets call her Broom) had a lap-band fitted several years ago - possibly 2 of the worst dinner guests ever!  So it was micro portions for them and hello plate of tasty food for me!  I did however whip up some banana muffin mix in the 10mins before they came over so we could have teeny tiny muffins (baby cases) with choc dipping sauce for dessert - oh yes I had my Delia head on,

Broom was really nice but made me realise exactly where I don't want to be in several years time - messed up, lonely, desperate and somehow lost in it all.

Broom is 35, had a failed long term relationship  which ended around a year ago (very gory details surrounding why it ended, but I won't give you them) which seemed to have knocked her off kilter, although rather than sort herself out and make a few changes for the better (her life doesn't seem that sorted etc.) she started looking for love again and met someone online through facebook in a very obscure way.  Anyway, Broom, like Six is from the States and the guy she met comes from... the city I currently live in.  They talked for hours online, swapping photos doing webcam and agreed she would visit at the end of July.  Things were brought to a crashing halt shortly after they made plans as Broom's shitty job and shitty boss wouldn't allow her to take annual leave until September.  When Broom told Mr X - he stopped replying.  Now I would imagine that this would be enough to throw in the towel and focus on other things but no, Broom got on a plane a week ago, flew to the city to stay with Six (whom she hasn't seen in over 10yrs), and text Mr X on arrival to see if they could pick things up again... no surprises that she has heard nothing from him.  Six, does seem to have worked her magic however and Broom seems to be enjoying her holiday none the less and is definately on the prowl for a holiday romance.

I feel really sorry for Broom as she seems like a genuinely nice, outgoing and charasmatic girl so its surprising to see where she has ended up but has motivated me none the less to up the anti a little at this end.

Upping the anti does not however mean succumbing to what I think were advances from Broom as she not so subtily dropped into conversation that she likes guys/girls and then orchastrated that I sit beside her several times during the night.  Not that she isn't an attractive girl but she isn't my type and lets face it... with my track record, a tad too old also.

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Rachael Yamagata - Worn Me Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdQ_1JcVABQ